All for Naught

I had been so good! Resist temptation left and right, but one quick lapse is all it takes for that hard work to come crashing down like a house of cards.

I had been in some book stores and record stores to kill some time, bask in the air conditioning, and see what had been popping up on the new music, movie, and book fronts. I was just browsing, though. I carried a few books around the stores while debating a purchase, but in the end I decided I didn’t really need them and was proud of myself for putting them back on the shelves. This scene had repeated itself a few times in the past week or so with clothes, DVDs, CDs, and groceries; each time my better judgment prevailing to leave the unnecessary items behind.

But then I cracked. I was having a bad day. Nothing dramatic, just a long day and I wanted some fiction to read (see below). I went to the Strand Bookstore (18 miles of books!!) near Union Square, found a cheap used copy of the book I wanted, paid, and started back toward the subway.

But the slope had been slipperied, and as I passed Virgin Records I remembered an album had just come out that I wanted to hear. I went in, listened, and decided to that if buying a book had made me feel better some new music would definitely help my mood. I ignored the CD sale racks on the way back to the register, but strategically situated next to the checkout line was a rack of $10 DVDs and I of course saw several movies that I had been meaning to watch. At this point I really had no choice but to pick at least one up. Movies in the theatre are $11 in New York, so a $10 DVD is a bargain, really.

I did well to go home with only one book, one album, and one movie, but I was shocked to see with what speed and ease the swipe of a Check Card annuls the efforts of the discerning consumer.

Making the Most of the 5 to 8

One would think that someone who has been living in a constant state of flux for the past several years (changing careers, changing countries, never living in the same apartment for more than a year, etc.) would eventually get used to shifting gears, could adapt to the varied routines and transitions, might even enjoy the changes in scenery and perspective. I guess I’m getting there... I do really like the variations that bouncing around affords me and I even like the transitions pretty well, but I just can’t get a handle on the pre-transition stages. If “On your mark” and “Get set” were followed by five to ten minutes of silent waiting before “GO!” we might read a lot more stories about high levels of hypertension in sprinters (and fans).

I’m not saying it’s time to plant myself. The ebb and flow for me is preferable to backwater any day. I need the change, but I would prefer the change without having to wait around for the all clear.

I only bring this up because while 90% of my career, education, and life-in-general prospects have been firmed up for the near future, I can’t really do anything on a lot of other fronts until the last 10% of those prospects are more concrete. I’ll have a full update as soon as I have everything solidified enough to share. Just getting a little restless again, that’s all.

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The daily grind has been taking its toll on me. Actually it’s not so much trudging though the 8-5 that I find taxing, but rather trying to balance sleep and the huge mix of things I really want to do between 5 and 8.

I’ve also been feeling a little lost lately, especially regarding careers and what might be considered contributions to the greater good. I’m ultimately very happy with where I’ve ended up and how I’ve been spending my time, but it’s hard to feel like I’m pulling my weight when I look at friends who are doing humanitarian work in Sudan, taking the bar exam, embarking on an album release tour, and so on and so on. There are really too many friends for me to list whose education, careers, goodwill, and determination I’m in awe of. Keep up the great work, guys.

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I’ve had the book Principle-Centered Leadership in my reading queue for quite some time now. It came highly recommended by my uncle – I figure Army Generals probably know a thing or two about leadership – and I’ve wanted to dive in for a while. Well I finally got around to picking it up, reading the first five pages, retaining 0% of what I had just read, and putting it right back down again. With everything that’s going on in real life, I just don’t have the stomach or the mind for a book on leadership. My on-train and pre-sleep reading blocks are currently reserved for escaping reality – not for self-improvement – so I went out today and bought another Murakami book: Kafka on the Shore. I can’t wait! Soon I’ll have the right mindset for becoming a principle-centered leader and I’ll give non-fiction another try.

Sorry for the ramble. I’m trying to get my head around a lot of stuff.

I Guess the Beard is OK, but the Pointy Hat?

From an (edited) email from Mom:

Sammy asked Quin what he had on his leg. It was a tattoo of a wizard - long flowing beard, robe with stars, hands outstretched. He's now attending the Church of God and feels that it is blasphemous to have this wizard on his leg. He said he has asked for forgiveness and has been forgiven. Then he said he thought he'd have a little more work done on the tattoo and turn it into Jesus. :) Couldn't have made up a better line!! He said his minister told him that the tattoo just enables him to be a witness to a different kind of people. See, aren't you sorry you missed the reunion?!

I long for the day when the religious and magic communities can embrace one another, put their bickerings aside, and live in peace with each other’s symbology of bearded men.

Great Minds

me: how about i email it to you for now?

J: just email it to me
J: wow great minds think a lot

me: a lot?

J: LoL
J: yeah
J: that's what makes them great

Cooler by Material Association

Weee! MacBook! Weee!